Confessions of a vote rigger

NOBODY is born a vote rigger. I doubt that being a vote rigger can be thrust
upon someone by Fate, like greatness, fame or sainthood. Vote rigging cannot
grow on you either, as a beautiful tune might, or as someone beautiful
might.

Sigmund Freud, my favourite psychoanalyst, is not quoted on the psyche of
the vote rigger, which is a great pity. He probably would have done an
illuminating job of it, if he examined one of Zimbabwe's notorious vote
riggers.

In Zimbabwe, elections have been rigged since independence, perhaps not
right, left and centre. But they have been rigged. After the 2000
parliamentary elections 30-something results were nullified by the courts.

What that amounted to was this: the victorious candidates had not won freely
and fairly. Someone had effectively "rigged" their election - how that had
been achieved smacked of "high crime" chicanery.

Previously, Tobaiwa Mudede, probably one of the longest-serving
registrar-generals in the world, told us it was impossible to rig an
election in this country. Our elections, he seemed to be saying, were
"rig-proof".

Incidentally, I have not heard him make that ultra-confident statement
recently. Perhaps he has seen the light.

A dastardlier act of rigging was committed in the 1990 parliamentary
elections in Gweru. Many in Zanu PF would probably be outraged at this
suggestion, but let us all maintain a calm demeanour, be objective,
difficult as this may be.

Someone almost killed Patrick Kombayi in that election. He was not a
criminal. His opponent was Simon Muzenda of Zanu PF. Kombayi,
once-upon-a-time a big noise in the party, was standing for the Zimbabwe
Unity Movement (ZUM).

Kombayi lost that election and almost his life as well, and is now crippled
for life. Muzenda won but is now deceased. It's important to revisit that
bloody incident. It's part of our blood-spattered electoral history. Most
people in Zanu PF hate to be reminded of another incident, the double murder
of Talent Mabika and Tichaona Chiminya in the 2000 parliamentary election
campaign.

The contest in Buhera was between the MDC's Morgan Tsvangirai and Zanu PF's
Kenneth Manyonda, who won. Subsequently, a court decided there was something
rotten and declared the election null and void.

It may be far-fetched to conclude that the double murder constituted
rigging, but if there hadn't been this cold-blooded incineration of the two,
who knows who might have won?

The real vote rigger is someone driven by fanaticism - excessive, mistaken
belief in something. Psychologists have hesitated to describe the mental
state of suicide-bombers as being driven by fanaticism.

In Zimbabwe, the typical vote rigger must be a person fanatically convinced
of the righteousness of their party. Much evidence exists that such people
are to be found in Zanu PF.

The people accused, charged, convicted, but then pardoned by the President,
for the attempt on Kombayi's life, worked for a government agency, our
version of the "licensed to kill" brigade.

Similarly, the people accused - but so far not convicted - of the Buhera
atrocity, worked for the government. They are roaming the land unchallenged.

I checked a recent rumour that one of them was standing for election on a
Zanu PF ticket. It is not true, thank God.

Advocate Pansy Tlakula, a South African who has dealt with elections for a
long time, both in Africa and elsewhere, told a startled audience in Harare
last month people - from Tokyo to Timbuktu - will rig elections. There was
precious little you could do to prevent it.

I remember concluding that election rigging was, like death and taxes, here
to stay. But Advocate Tlakula told us of a silver lining. With safeguards in
the law, rigging could be curbed, she said. Yet the real challenge is,
again, with people who run the elections and who lead political parties.

In Zimbabwe this time around, the elections could be rigged by-you-know-who
as sure as inflation is going to soar tomorrow.

I have always maintained the inevitability of rigging should not lead us to
give up voting altogether, for that would be giving up on democracy, and if
there is one country in the world that needs democracy like oxygen it is
Zimbabwe.

We go into an election in which - so the pundits tell us - the front-runner
is an 84-year-old self-confessed Marxist-Leninist with "many degrees in
violence".

Some people will vote for this geriatric politician, knowing that Fidel
Castro of Cuba, slightly younger than Robert Mugabe and ailing, has at last
given up the job.

They know Pervez Musharaff, the dictator of Pakistan, has lost an election,
but seems determined to hang on.

All these are omens for Mugabe. His time is up. Even the vote rigger who
confesses "I did it for my party and my president" might not change things
at all. The die is cast.